Not Looking Back

It has been almost a year since I published my last blog post and this might be one of the more honest and vulnerable posts I have published since creating A Touch of Leopard. I was ready to part ways with A Touch of Leopard because to be honest I reached a point where I was uninspired and I was tired of all the mean comments. Let's fast forward to months later. The mean comments were the ones that discouraged me but then I started receiving mean comments from my surroundings where I knew I needed to turn to A Touch of Leopard to voice my opinion. A Touch of Leopard will still be based on fashion but sometimes I might go in a different direction because it is something I am passionate about. This blog post being one of them. 

When I started blogging I kind of lived 2 separate lives - one where i blogged and the other where I was part of Corporate America. Whenever someone mentioned my blog I would get so shy and just change the topic because I was scared of the judgement. I started blogging in a time where things were not going the way I wanted them to, and currently things are not going how I want them to so I saw it as the best time to turn to A Touch of Leopard. Let's all take a vow to be kinder, nicer, and empathetic.

If you follow me on Instagram then you might have briefly read what I am about to say. In the past couple of months, people that surround me took it upon themselves to not be their nicest. I received several belittling comments and making unnecessary comments - how I was fat, how I was ugly, how I was dumb, or how I was never going to get married. Here's the brutal truth - comments like calling me fat and ugly, no matter how confident I may be, after a while they got the best of me; especially since I was receiving these comments from people I trusted and called "my friends." Will I ever be a size 0 or 2? Probably not but in all honesty, I am pretty happy with my weight. I recently lost a little over 20 pounds but none of this was acknowledged; all I got were comments about how I was fat. 

Comments like saying I was dumb or that I wasn't smart enough are discouraging; I am someone who loves learning and actually loves challenges because it means I get to think outside of the box and learn new ways. The most annoying comments were comments about my love life. Yes, I am 26 years old and most of my friends are in relationships, engaged, married and/or have kids; this says nothing about me. Comments about how I should just accept the attention of anyone who comes my way because "I am running out of time," are unsolicited and upsetting; how can you tell someone to settle just to check a milestone off their list. No, that does not happen; you DO NOT settle. You go out there and find your person and fall in love and go through life making the most beautiful memories. 

And the funniest thing is while I was getting these comments, for the past 8 months I spent most of my free time with a beautiful soul; with someone who's company I enjoyed and he quickly became one of my best friends. But I kept him a secret as I do with most things pertaining to my love life, a couple of people knew of his existence in my life and that was good enough. Meanwhile the people making comments about how I should just settle or how I was going to end up alone, little did they know about the bond I shared with this lovely human. Things didn't work out and for the past month I've dealt with the aftermath of this fall out. It hasn't been easy and I still received unnecessary comments. At the moment I needed someone to tell me it was okay to be sad or that it was okay things didn't work out; but those are not the comments I got. Instead I got rude, mean, and belittling comments.

Here's the thing, nobody ever really knows what someone is going through and it really isn't your business what someone is going to. We should all be a little more empathetic instead of making hurtful comments. I've seen people get called fat or ugly and they suffer an eating disorder and low self-esteem. I've seen people with learning disabilities get called dumb or stupid. WE ALL JUST NEED TO BE KIND! Or some people get satisfaction at bringing others down and if you are one of those people then you really need to re-evaluate yourself and your life because it is really messed up! There is enough hate and tragedies going on in the world, we really do not need to be mean or hurtful to each other.

 I will always be the nice girl; I will always choose to be nice to someone, no matter what. I will always care about others feelings, I will always say good morning and say please and thank you, I will always wish people a good day. I will always be the girl who smiles, even if it is at a stranger, because you never know, maybe they were in need of a friendly smile. I will always hope and wish for the best for everyone, we all deserve success and happiness. No matter how hard I try, if I try being mean to someone in return I end up feeling guilty and probably results in me apologizing or me crying out of guilt. I am not ashamed of being the nice girl, in fact it is one of the traits I enjoy the most about myself. Yes, several people interpret my niceness as a sign of weakness and they will try to use it against me.

I titled this post "Not Looking Back" because I am no longer allowing previous comments get the best of me. I will take these mean comments and instead of overthinking them I will ignore them and continue being me. I will not look back and let what others have said get the best of me. I am moving forward and with that comes the return of A Touch of Leopard.